momday real life

Two sides- a {mom}-day post

It’s exhausting I tell you, being this cute.

And delightful, all at the same time.

I have been mulling over This post, and agree heartily with everything she said.  But, then I read this post– and I also think she has a point.  And today I stumbled upon the response the author of the first post wrote and I think she is brilliant.  In case you don’t want to do all the clicking and reading- I’ll sum it up:  the first is the “dear-mom-on-the-iphone” letter which basically said: Dear mom- get off your phone and pay attention already. (in a Much nicer and more beautifully written way).  The second post is a letter also to said i-phone mom, basically justifying why she is on the phone- definitely written much better than I can give it credit.  And the last response says that while she regrets that it may have been received in a way other than she intended it, she stands behind the premise that today’s technology robs us of time that would otherwise be spent in more engaged ways.

And I agree, with all of it.

So why bring it up on my blog? 

Because I feel like the bigger problem that this whole series of internet interactions has exposed is that as women we don’t feel supported and uplifted by each other.  We feel judged and criticized and attacked. 

It makes me a bit sad.
Instead of finding hope, peace, strength to make positive changes, capacity to deal with life’s challenges, love, compassion and understanding- we only see competition, judgement, isolation and intimidation.

We are missing out on so much.

There are always two sides to a story.  Yours and hers.  You know your side, but more often than not,  you are only making a guess as to what her side might be. 

I’d like to help.

No matter the circumstance, no matter the words said, no matter the perceived actions: assume the best.  Assume misunderstanding, assume good intentions, assume trials or struggles unknown to you. 

And you’ll be right most of the time.

Very few people are mean on purpose.  And I can pretty much guarantee that person you think “hates” you, doesn’t.  And the mean things you think other people think about you- are only in your mind.  And however the situation may “look”- it very likely isn’t exactly what you think.

Trust that everyone you meet is doing the very best they can, trying the very hardest they know how, and wanting to be encouraged and loved in exactly the same way you do.

Be the kind of friend you wish you had and you’ll be amazed at how much light will flood your life- and the lives of the women who surround you.

Let’s end the mommy-wars once and for all- one friendship at a time.

I want to be your friend.  A safe place where you see not only the fun things I truly enjoy sewing, but the reality of life with 5 kids, of my failures and shortcoming and insecurities.  It might make this blog a bit rougher around the edges than others you’ll see, but I hope that it’s flaws help you see that the woman behind it is flawed too. 

But I’m trying.


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  • Pinspot
    March 11, 2013 at 4:04 pm

    Your post reminds me of one of my all-time favorite quotes:
    “Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad.” (Jeffrey R. Holland) Sounds like you might know this quote, too.

  • Beverly {Flamingo Toes}
    March 11, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    What a sweet post and so well said! I agree – people need to be so much quicker to believe the best about others first!

  • Jani
    March 11, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    Thank you for sharing such a poignant post. I'm way past the age of getting involved in "mommy wars"(those words, by the way didn't exist when I was a younger mommy – it was just called gossip – and was usually spoken by bored, unhappy or jealous moms). Anyway, you're right; always give the other person the benefit of the doubt and always be a good friend!

  • Living the Scream
    March 11, 2013 at 4:26 pm

    You are right about the judging it is getting so old. I think as women we are way to hard on ourselves and others. We are all doing the best we can.

  • Amy @ The Happy Scraps
    March 11, 2013 at 4:38 pm

    Amy, great post, and so true! You are one that I consider to be very good at making others feel accepted and included! 🙂 I think your point about be the kind of friend that you want to have is such a great point! I know none of us are perfect, and we are all trying the very best that we know how.

  • Kara
    March 11, 2013 at 8:37 pm

    This is beautiful Amy! And you are awesome. The end.

  • Ronda Batchelor
    March 11, 2013 at 9:48 pm

    Well said!!!

  • Lorene (just Lu)
    March 11, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    AMEN! A friend of mine always says that if women could get along for a full day, we'd be organized to take over the world… but that won't happen, so the world is safe (this friend is man 😉

    It worries me that a generation of moms (my generation of moms) is not only experiencing this as "normal" but then, what are we passing onto our kids from this? Unless we all decide to be nice, where are our children going to learn to be kind, give the benefit of the doubt, assume the best about someone?

    Well-said, Amy 🙂

  • Bec
    March 12, 2013 at 4:52 am

    Did you go to Stake Conference? Because this is what I think the Stake President's theme was in his talk – to just give people the benefit of the doubt! Great way to put it! Thanks for the reminder. My all time favorite thought is by Hilary Weeks in a book she wrote where she talks about how when you walk into a room don't be concerned by how others feel about you but how others will feel about themselves after being around you. So push the good. I do feel you do this Amy. You're awesome!

  • Gwen @ Gwenny Penny
    March 13, 2013 at 1:50 am

    Love it! Fantastic post, Amy.

    Everyone parents, lives, works, copes differently. Just because someone does it differently than you would doesn't mean that it's wrong. I think everyone (not just moms) needs to remember this.

  • chris
    March 13, 2013 at 2:22 pm

    Thank you for sharing such a kind post. I agree that with life as it is, we need to help not hinder each other. p.s. your dolly is darling!

  • Debra Hawkins
    March 13, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    Love this! I am so sick of the bickering over everything. I wish that we could all accept that we are all pretty good moms. 🙂

  • Debra Hawkins
    March 13, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • Stephanie Buice
    March 25, 2013 at 2:56 am

    Amy, I couldn't have said it better myself. I like knowing this side of you, so glad I stopped by 🙂

  • Michele Pacey
    March 25, 2013 at 2:57 am

    Acceptance is key, I think. Accepting that you are human. That I am human. That you will make mistakes. And so will I. That I will rise and make something beautiful. And you will too. If we could just look at each other and remember that we're all just trying to figure it out. Then we'd be set, I think.

    Thanks for the thoughtful post Amy. An utter pleasure to read and think about.

  • Rachel
    March 25, 2013 at 2:57 am

    I love your mom day posts, they encourage me so much.